Hello folks.

Last year I made a post about why I think New Years Resolutions are useless. This year I still agree with myself and everything I said in that post. The following "goals" certainly aren't things that come out of nowhere and are definitely achievable, since I started working on (almost) all of these things already in the previous year. These are goals I want to achieve during the year and make a new habit of mine. ~enjoy~

1. Be more organized.
This one, I feel like, is an obvious one. As I mentioned multiple times already I am going to take my A-Levels this year and even though I do perform quite good at the moment in school I know I am not up to my full potential.
To be more organized I already started a studyblr tumblr blog, which you can find here: https://studybllrr.tumblr.com/. On there I want to keep you updated with my school stuff, my progress and my bullet journal which I started for 2017. I really like the idea of bullet journals and since my calendar'll end with 2016 I already prepared all of January in the journal. I might do a full blog post just about it.





2. Work out regularly.
I work out quite a lot. But then sometimes I don't go for a run or in the gym for like two weeks. I want to change that by having a real schedule which I can't just ignore. Working out is not only good for my body but also for my mind. So if I had a busy day at school it would actually help me to go to the gym, even though I might be two hours later at home.

3. Read about 30 minutes a day.
Reading has always been huge and important for me. But during the last couple of years I noticed that the amount of books I got through during a year dropped strongly. During holidays I always find loads of time for loads of books but as soon as I am home I just forget it. And I want to change that by setting myself the goal to read a little bit a day.



4. Journal more often. 
At the beginning of 2016 I started a diary in which I wrote quite regularly until about April. Then it just stopped. Now at the end I am actually sad I couldn't keep it up. I want to improve and at the end of the year have a full journal filled with happy and not so happy days from the last year.

5. Upload regularly. This goal does include my YouTube channel and this blog. I noticed that sometimes I have weeks in which I upload on this blog like four times a week and then for months nothing. Same with the YouTube channel. So I'll try and get a schedule in it.

6. Practice the piano more often. 
Just because I love playing the piano and I'd love to be able to do more things. And also because I think my piano teacher soon will rip my head of :D

7. Try Yoga.
"Try new things" and stuff. I found this YouTube channel called "Yoga with Adrienne" and twice I tried her programs out and really enjoyed it.



8. Be happier. 

9. Make myself a priority.

10. Go outside more often.
Just to enjoy natures beauty and get fresh air. I'll also try and hit the 10.000 steps goal every day. During school that is no problem but in the holidays I often just stay inside and don't move very much.



11. Turn off electronic devices more often. 
During 2016 I often did weekends with digital detoxes and I found it so refreshing and felt a lot free-er. I want to continue doing that, but even more often. Generally I spend a lot of time on the phone and the laptop.

12. Maintain a regular sleeping schedule. 
Again, during the holidays that is no problem at all. But especially during exam seasons I get only five to six hours of sleep for four or five weeks, making me not only moody but also not very present. The days fly by and I am so tired that I become an absent-minded mess.

13. Drink more water. 
I definitely improved with the water intake and drink at least 1 liter a day. But I want to push myself and drink even more. I set myself the goal to drink like 1.5 up to 2 liters a day. (or more if possible)

14. Enjoy the little things in life. Ties in with many other goals.

15. Meet friends more often. DON'T just say "Sorry, I am busy" or come up with a lousy excuse. I need to just push myself, leave the house and hang out with my friends because we always have loads of fun and make great memories.

16. Be less stressed. 
It will be a stressful year. I know that. But I don't need to push myself into the stress even deeper by overthinking and exaggerating.



So that is it!
My full list of things I want to improve. And I say "improved" very consciously, because I feel like on each of these subjects I worked on already in 2016. But now in 2017 I don't want to lose focus and yet again make myself aware of what I already achieved and what I can improve.

Do you have goals for 2017? Tell me in the comments, I am actually very curious.

Dear Diary.

The last two or three weeks the weather had been miserable so today, I was delighted when I woke up to a bright blue sky and the sun rising.



My alarm woke me up at 7.30 am. After spending some time in my bed listening to music and being on my phone, I got up, changed in comfy clothes and prepared for my morning yoga session.



I followed the video by the YouTube channel "Yoga with Adriene". It was a morning yoga video and it really calmed me and made me focused for the day. After these 30 minutes I went downstairs and made myself some breakfast. I used the mango I bought a few days ago and it tasted perfect! Sweet and with a good consistency. I also drank a green smoothie (which I bought and not made myself) and drank about half a liter of water.



While preparing and eating that I listened to Frank Sinatra on Spotify and it heavily lifted my mood. For some reason I was so happy in that moment and soaked everything up.

Still with Mr Sinatra in the background I went back upstairs in my room and tidied everything up. Like proper deep cleaned my room. Put all my school stuff away, hoovered, dusted and "puffed up" my duvets on the balcony.



I also improved my bullet journal by redesigning my layout.
Then my mum came home and I drank tea while she had her breakfast. We decided to go to Hanover, the capital and biggest city of lower saxony, and take a walk around the maschsee lake. So I got ready, grabbed my camera and we set of.






At about 4 pm we were home again and since we were literally shivering we made a little soup with vegetables and loads of spices.
Then we made proper lunch/dinner with potatoes with rosemary, agli oli, baguette, peppers, courgette and carrots. While the veggies were baking in the oven I played the piano. Again, Frank Sinatra (still had the songs from the morning stuck in my head) and Panic! At The Disco.

Then I sat down and read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which I got for Christmas.

Now I'm watching a 2016 year review comedy thing and soon I'll go to bed because tomorrow will be a long and exciting day. New Years Eve... another year has passed.

Today was extremely lovely! The weather was amazing, I made music, I read, I was outside for a very long time, ate good and healthy food and was genuinely happy. That is the most important thing. I was happy, laughing, smiling for no reason and enjoying the little things.

I wish myself more days like today.

Hello people.

Music is a huge part of my life. I think half of my days I spent either listening to music or making music myself. And the other half I spend in school and am asleep. And I am not exaggerating when I am saying this, this is literally how it is. While I am writing this I am listening to Micheal Jackson. During breaks I like to go to the piano room and play a bit. I sing like 24/7.

So as music really is a big part of my life I thought it would only be appropriate to talk about it a bit more on my blog. Starting off with my favorite songs at the moment.
I might make this a regular thing.. not sure..

Anyway, let's go!




Pretty. Odd. - Panic! At The Disco
You might be wondering: But Paula this is not a song! but let me explain.
This whole album is so relaxing to listen to and the songs are beautiful and dOn't get me started on the lyrics. As I had to study a lot during the last weeks that was my go to album to play in the background. I had it on repeat for hours and hours so it is only fair for it to be the number one on this list. Seriously, if you have never listened to this album because you heard shit like "it's not proper panic stuff" then do the following: LISTEN TO IT RIGHT NOW!
Pretty. Odd. is actually the first album I ever bought of Panic! because I heard the song When the day met the night. I instantly fell in love and bought it. A few weeks later I owned every single record, so Pretty. Odd. basically started my obsession with Panic!.
And if you have never heard of Panic! At The Disco then do the following: LISTEN TO IT RIGHT. NOW! I have to say that is one of the best bands I know, Brendon Urie is seriously the best vocalist I know of (and pretty handsome as well).
Genre: I think Pretty. Odd. is kind of Rock, Pop, Indie, Beatles inspired genre. You can't really specify, the songs are quite varied.

Movin' Out - Billy Joel
I only recently discovered the song. Yes, I know, shame on me. But I heard it in the background of a video on YouTube and searched the comments for the name of the song and luckily somebody had mentioned it. I started listening to it on repeat and play it on the piano (much to the annoyance of my parents because you gotta hit these chords). My father then gave my all of his Billy Joel records and I started listen to then on my way to school.
I love the bass line and the rather odd combination of chords. Also the change of mood.. I don't know how to describe it properly, there is just a lot happening in that song but somehow it all fits together.
Genre: rock

Warned You - Good morning
I don't exactly know what I love about this song so much. It has the 80/90 inspired guitar in the background, that might be one reason for me. But, you know, that song is just chill. I love listening to it while laying in bed, writing or just thinking. It is perfect background music: Again, the bass line is very interesting. The lyrics aren't strong though.
Genre: Honestly, no idea.

Sickly Sweet Holidays - Dallon Weekes
An unknown christmas song which I adore so much. Dallon Weekes is Panic! At The Discos bassist and he also makes music himself and in his band The Brobecks. It makes christmas rockesque, the lyrics are very cute and.. honest you might say. I just love it. As Dallon Weekes is a bassist, the bass is very present in the song, which is such a great turn, because usually the bass is too quiet in my opinion. Just listen to it if you are getting sick of the oh so lovely Mariah Carrey or Micheal Bublé. Another great thing about this song: Dallon is singing so lovely! And he made all of the song himself and recorded it at home? Like what? I think the drums did someone else, but despite that... How amazing is that?! So, please listen to it, it is on YouTube and Spotify.
Genre: Rock

Mean 'Ol Moon - Dallon Weekes Cover
This is a cover of the v beautiful song "Mean 'Ol Moon" by Amanda Seyfried. She sang the song for the movie Ted 2 which I am not a fan of by THIS SONG IS BEAUTIFUL. Amanda Seyfried did an amazing job but Dallon Weekes did an even better job and I love his quick cover of it. The link to the video is here, it is only available on YouTube (I think..?) Anyways, it is wonderful and Dallon sings it perfectly. I already talked about Dallon a lot so I'll keep it simple this time.
Genre: Jazzy cabaret old kind of music?


Soooo here we go, a list of the songs I listened to during the last few weeks. This is definitely not representative for my taste in music, but you get an idea. I think I will update you on my favorite songs every once in a while, but this is it for today.

Hello people.

Today I wanted to talk with you about one thing that has been following me as long as I can remember.

Since I was young I had always been really shy and quiet. I had worlds inside my head and liked to live inside them rather than joining a conversation. Whenever I had to give a presentation in front of my class I was shaking and sweating from nervousness. I can't stand talking to strangers and I avoid eye contact. There is no chance of me starting a conversation or asking for something because I am simply afraid.

Still to this day I my shyness makes my life a bit more complicated.



Almost every time I talk to somebody I leave out huge bits of the sentence I am saying. I just swallow the first words and continue with the rest of the sentence normally. Just because I am used to not really talk and stand more in the background. I am afraid to bother or annoy people with too much talking. They reassure me very often that I am certainly not, but I still feel like it. I can't help it.
Sometimes participating in class can be so hard. Especially if I want to make a good point and talk about it longer I simply can't because my voice is cracking and I feel as though I am starting to lisp and talk very inarticulate. I start losing focus and just end my sentence before I managed to come to an end. 

Though it does always depend on the persons I am with. I can be with my friends in a café for hours and hours and chat about life. I can joke carelessly and sing and shout and be very outgoing.

But if I don't feel "sure" about the person I am with I become insecure. I tend to talk less. I don't joke around as much. I laugh more reticent. I stutter and feel insecure about my voice. I squeeze my hands and cramp my shoulders weirdly. I avoid eye contact.

Is that even shyness? I don't even know..

As this is my final year of school my year had to decide on many committees to organize things like the prom, parties, t shirts or the motto.

I am part of the year book committee.

Hello folks.

You all heard the news. Everyone heard it. Donald Trump became the President of America. And here I am, a girl from Germany, and I am scared of what will follow.



When I woke up on the 09. November I instantly checked my phone to see who won the election. I opened twitter and saw first reactions of people tweeting like

"Trump? No! Help!" "Trump is in the lead. This must be a dream."

And I could not believe it. Then I googled it and, indeed, Trump was in the lead with 244 electoral votes while Clinton had 215. I was instantly completely awake.
My head felt consumed by worry. Never ever had I imagined that he would actually win! German media had had many documentaries and articles about the election and all of them came to the conclusion that it would be delusional to think Trump could win. That his presidency is a big joke. That he is a clown without a single chance.
So this was in fact hellof a scare.
When I went to school I was constantly refreshing the page to see the decision of the swing states. The bad thing was: I had to sit my German Pre-A-Level exam that day. Right before it started, two more states had decided: Trump suddenly had 274 electoral votes, meaning that only 6 were missing. Then my teacher got real mad because I still had my phone and made me bring it to the administration office.
The first hour of the exam was AW-FUL! As soon as I sat on my desk and had my paper in front of me the realization sank in: Trump was going to be the new President of America. Without a doubt.

The man everyone laughed at his first months of presidency. The man who wants to build a wall at the border to Mexico - and make them pay for it. The man who talked about raping and grabbing women "in the p*ssy" just like small talk and now received multiple accusations of sexual assault. The man making fun of a reporter for being disabled. The man who wants to temporarily ban Muslims from the US. The man who has the delusional idea to cut taxes, but at the same time wants to improve the infrastructure and get rid of the 20 billion dollar debt in eight years.The man who hates the LGBTQ+ community.
The list goes on.

Let that sink in. During an important exam. Not fun. Needless to say that exam did not go too well.


I saw so many tweets from people getting texts like

"Please don't wear your hijab today, I want you to be safe."
"Please don't tell people your gay anymore, I want you to be safe."

That was honestly what scared me the most. People not being able to be themselves.
I heard of people shouting "Kill Hillary!", I heard of people trying to ban black people in the back of a bus, because that "is where they belong.".
That is what this presidency does and did to people: They became ignorant and selfish. They feel now assured that it is right to oppress minorities like black people, Muslims, LGBTQ+'s, women... I feel sorry for everyone in the US that is part of one of these groups. I feel very sorry for everyone being afraid to express themselves.

I despise what is happening in the world.
Looking at Europe I see similar people and changes. In France and Belgium the right winged and very racist parties are about to win the elections. In Germany is the AfD-party, filled with outragious people following a leader telling them who to hate and what to do.
People don't want any refugees anymore, because they could be part of IS, or are dangerous in general because they are strangers.

The world is filled with hate. And that is wrong. Hate can never be the answer.
Why you may ask? Well, simply because it is very easy to hate something.
It is so easy to say "Oh I hate that.", "I don't like that", "I'm against that.", because you will always find an argument for your opinion.
It is easy to say "I hate gays, I think it is abnormal." or "Ban the Muslims, they're all part of the IS."
Especially if you have a leader who already puts you the words in your mouth and all you have to do is vote for him.

But supporting and loving is harder and oh boy had I had some discussions and disagreements with people, simply because I was supporting something like marriage for everyone in America and they didn't.


So Trump used all of the bottled up hate and outrage the people had collected over the past years and enlarged it by lies, exaggerations and false accusations. Just take everything he said about Merkel and politics in Germany and then see how much truth was in it. You will see: No truth at all. But he used the ignorance of the Americans and filled the holes with these lies.

By that he encouraged people to bring out the worst of themselves and threw morals out of the window. That is dangerous. There were so many shootings against gays and black men in America. How is that going to develop?

I simply don't know, and the not knowing is what scares me the most.

Donald Trump is the most powerful man of the whole world. 

He could destroy American society. He could start war.
He has no idea what he is doing politically.
He is impulsive, aggressive and dangerous.

If these are not a reason to be scared I don't know what is.

I hope you are safe and remind yourself that you are worth it and that it doesn't matter what sexuality, race, skin colour, religion, gender or what else you are!

Hello you beautiful bunch.

As my school-time is approaching the end it was time for my final trip. We had the chance to vote for our ideal destination and I decided to go to the south of France, the very beautiful Provence.




On the 22. of September my adventure started with a 17 hour bus trip until we reached the city by the river Rhône, Avignon. 





Our hotel and the view from our terrace over the river Rhône and Avignon. Simply stunning.

On the day of our arrival we decided to visit the city and some sights. Unfortunately I can't show you all of my pictures, since 70 of them decided to vanish for no reason. So that is a shame, but here are some of the ones that are left.



23/09/2016 - Orange and Mt. Ventoux



Obligatory sunrise picture, since it was breathtakingly beautiful.



I completely fell in love with this small town. The houses were colourful, the people were happy and talkative (as far as my french was understandable) and the old town just looked so pretty and cute.

We then visited the theater.



I also sang with some friends Not to say goodbye and damn, it sounded great there if I say so myself, since the acoustic was fantastic and it just felt amazing to sing in such a big theater (even without audience)

We then went to the garden of Jean Farbre. If you haven't heard of him: no problem, me neither. I now know that he was a biologist and had his own evolutionary theory which he developed in this very garden we visited.



The last thing we did that day was to drive up the 1900 metres high mountain Mont Ventoux.



24/09/2016 - Arles





This city has not only a huge bullfight-arena, but a beautiful market filled with diverse food and spices from all over the world. We bought some fruits and a crêpe.


25/09/2016 - Le Baux and bullfight

Le Baux is a beautiful, yet touristic, town on top of a hill. It is so lovely, there is no other word appropriate for it.




Okay, about the bullfight. Before you get upset: This is not the spanish bullfight, this is the provincial bullfight. This is all about the bull and how good he is at defending himself, not about the men killing him. Just inform yourself about it, before you spread your opinion.




26/09/2016 - Leaving for Castellane/ Verdon Gorge



We were honestly extremely sad to leave this place and to move on. I am so going to miss this view, the heat, the city, the pool, the evenings in the city centre with music and my friends.. oh my god, it has been a dream.
But we left in the morning after a french breakfast to go to Castellane, near by the Verdon Gorge in the mountains. We lived á four persons in small mobile homes.



Later that day me and my best friend had a little dinner which looked a lot like a date and then went over to another house, in which lived five boys, and made burgers with them. That evolved in a house party with about 30 persons which was a lot of fun.

27/09/2016 and 28/09/2016 - Climbing and Canyoning